My second Ayahuasca journey – Meeting the Madre

Catharsis is precipitated on the physical level as a vehicle for cleansing and detoxification. Spiritual catharsis occurs at a deeper level as Ayahuasca purges negativity, toxins, personal "baggage" and "garbage" accumulated through one's lifetime. The pace and depth of this process depends greatly on the willingness of the individual to surrender ego and pride to achieve the blessings of cleansing and rebirth.

The reason the medicine is referred to as a female such as Goddess, Mother and Madre etc is because when you are on your journey you will come into contact with her, you will feel a maternal presence. You may not see her but you may hear her, or you know she takes your hand. She may speak to you, she may just show you things she wants you to see but even if you do not hear her voice or see her face you just KNOW she is there, you can feel her and she is always with you.

After a days rest we met in the cabana in the afternoon, again we chose where we would lie down for our journeys on our mattresses with blankets and pillows. The Shaman told us that the journey may be a more intense experience as it was daylight and warned of the usual dangers of wandering off to the beach or pool.

We all drank our medicine. After the Shaman had spoken into my cup, I whispered to her not to show me anything scary again and to answer my questions if she would before I drank. Some of the group walked around a bit chatting before the onset and others lay down and waited on their mattresses.
As usual I was compelled to sleep again!

She arrived in the dark and I knew she was there as I could feel her warm glow all over me. I did not see colours, coloured beads, snakes or insects as the others had related they had seen the day before. I was suddenly aware that I was being analysed from my toes to my head. I could sense something feeling my body but it was like it was being done from inside my skin.

I asked in the darkness of my closed eyes, “What do you want to show me?” I was shown trees with faces on their trunks which were very grey, old and sad. I knew these people were my ancestors. A child alien appeared from below my line of vision. She had an oval head, dark shiny oval eyes and she was the colour of a dolphin. I only saw her head and shoulders.

It felt like I was floating forwards and I asked “Where are you taking me?” I floated towards a large box and I looked into this box and in it were large spikes of cold steel, they were a dull, drab grey colour and I could sense so much negativity from this box, it made me frown and feel so sad. Each spike began to float out of the box and they started to float past each of my ears! As they did so I was aware that each spike contained parts of my life.

It felt like all the junk I had ever crammed into my brain was being erased, it was like the running of a video tape very fast before your eyes as you watch it on the TV screen. Silly magazines, cheesy television programmes, bad memories, traumatic experiences, hurt, pain, they all went floating away. As the box emptied it was like weights had been lifted from my body and mind and I felt wonderful!

Next I was taken to a horse’s head; the horse was brown with a white nose. I remember thinking it was a moose at first but it was certainly a horse. On its forehead were 5 bright blue eyes. 3 in one line and 2 underneath. These eyes merged into one and it blinked at me a couple of times then disappeared.

I was next taken to the skeletal structure of a woman’s pelvis. I could see her spine, her femurs, and her ribs. There was a baby in her womb and as I got closer I saw that the baby was me. I looked up and saw her skull and all her upper body structure and looked down her legs to the bones of her feet. I was looking at the full skeleton of a woman. She had no features just a black shadowy outline of her body all around her skeleton.

The last thing I remember was floating down a very dark tunnel and then I awoke crying my eyes out, not through sadness but happiness. I felt like a new person, that I had been somehow given another chance and I felt like a child as I felt very mischievous and wanting to laugh out loud. I had to contain myself for the benefit of the others who were still asleep travelling. The Shaman’s wife saw me as I sat up and as she smiled at me I felt her maternal love for her child who was sleeping beside her.

I was very lucky that night as I did not vomit or run to the loo. I had had the most wonderful journey and I felt that my past life was over and that night was a new beginning. I tried to go back into my journey to see if there was anymore for me to be shown. I closed my eyes but my journey was over, there was nothing more.

I was never frightened on this journey as even though I was shown some pretty unusual things, she was with me and I knew I was safe.
Some people can actually wake up and then drift back to see more, if the Goddess wants to show you more that is, but for me she decided my healing session was over …..For that day anyhow