My first Ayuahuasca journey

My first journey was rather a disappointing experience to me. The ceremony consists of a Shaman being present who administers the medicine to you. First we all laid our mattresses, pillows and blankets down around a fire outside by the beach, listening to the waves breaking on the shore.

Then we went to see the Shaman in his cabana who was sitting behind a low wooden table with his two jugs of Ayahuasca in front of him and his fans of leaves, 2 candles, beads and a small wooden cup for us to drink out of. He started to chant over the jugs and fanned them with the leaves, but before he did this he gave us a few warnings about wandering off near the fire, swimming pool or onto the beach for obvious reasons.

After he had finished his songs, we all took turns to kneel and drink the amount of medicine he gave to you. He spoke into the cup before he passed it to you.I drank mine and despite warnings from experienced drinkers that "The stuff tastes absolutely vile" I found that it was not really that bad! Yes, it was a bit bitter tasting but I suppose it depends on your taste tolerance. I had also heard from others who had sampled the brew before that it gave them bad visions and scary dreams, and you could also find yourself running to the loo with the runs or vomiting in the bushes. So I whispered into my cup and asked Madre Ayahuasca "Please give me sweet dreams, nothing scary, I cannot handle anything scary"The reason I call her Madre (Mother) I will explain about later.

I got my wish. Within 20 minutes I was put into a very deep sleep. It was not the sort of sleep where you doze then go to sleep in various stages; it was like someone had switched me off. I woke up after around 3 hours and had the most incredible urge to vomit. This I did twice behind a palm tree. I was also very drowsy for ages.

Apparently, this is known as "purging" or a cleansing process, and the more you vomit, the more cleansed you feel. It is not like being sick from being drunk, ill or over-eating, it really is a cleansing feeling and you also feel that you have got rid of any bad stuff lurking around in your body. Likewise with the urge to run to the loo even though I luckily did not suffer that fate! However, I did see quite a few running past me with some great urgency in the direction of the obvious.

I remembered nothing of my dreams that night and it was as if she had shut my body down to work on me as the day after I felt happy, alive and unbelievably content. Another thing the medicine does, your hearing is more acute, your vision is sharper and your senses of smell and taste are heightened. You notice nature more, things you have taken for granted and you see people for what they are and do not judge. It is like you have a new outlook on life, like you appreciate it more.

I had a deeper understanding of the people who were in the group. I knew one person was missing their little girl, one who had sadness in their life, one who had a particular question to ask at the next ceremony and I could feel a certain person's love for their children. I felt all these things by intuition.

After a couple of bottles of water (Ayahuasca made me incredibly thirsty) I came round from my drowsy state and went back to my room to sleep

The day after I was listening to the stories of the others with great interest as they had had some super journeys. I must admit I did feel a bit left out as they had seen colours, coloured beads, colourful snakes and pretty lights, but as the next ceremony loomed I was determined to ask the Madre to help me and heal me so I could get on with my life without those damn bad memories creeping up on me and making me unhappy.